If you are near to my age, I'm sure you've been there. You get invited to a hen do, or nightclub and you haven't been out dancing in years!
What do you wear? And more importantly, how do you feel great whilst feeling put together in an environment that is traditionally not meant for you. I know it would be easier to slip on a pair of slippers and make excuses why you can't make it but it's time to dig out those big girl pants and get sparkling like you know you should!
First thing I like to say to myself is, I'm really not that interesting to anyone else. I like to think I am but really I'm not. Even if my skirt is too short, too long or my dress is too baggy or a little risqué and it raises the eyebrow to a complete stranger, in the grand scheme of things it won't have a noticeable impact on said stranger. I doubt they will be telling their grandkids about me decades later. And furthermore whether I got it right or catastrophically wrong it's all subjective. Who should care other than me?! We all make mistakes sometimes, that's how we learn. You won't be harming anyone by wearing the wrong thing, so don't limit yourself. Have some fun and fall in love with wearing clothes for you.
I decided to write this blog because my friends and I went away for our annual trip recently. Throughout the year we all put money into a savings account so we can spend a couple of nights drinking cocktails, dancing and eating lovely food. This year we visited Newcastle Upon Tyne and planned to go out dancing and to bars.
I still love dancing even at my age, it’s the performer in me! But dancing places are reserved for our children so clubbing outfits on not aimed at a slightly overweight 55 year old like myself. This is why I often make my own, alter or repurpose something.
Whether you sew like me or you need to purchase your outfit follow these tips to help find your perfect pieces and dust off those dancing shoes.
Step 1 - Shoes
Start with your shoes and build your outfit around them.
Check out what you own before buying
I found a pair I wore once 18 months ago and I never had an occasion to wear them again. They are glittery which is traditionally worn at Christmas but they're silver so I could look for pieces to match or contrast with them.
Also wearing shoes that you already own should be more comfortable. You don't run the risk of having to 'break in' a new pair when you will be on your feet for a long time. Even if they're not on trend, honestly no one will ever notice.
Find a heel that suits you. I can’t do stilettos anymore, my ankles can’t cope. Remember ‘in da club’ there's going to be lots of dancing! But on the flip side, I find flats harder to dance in than high heels so consider a low heel instead of no heel.
Step 2 - Research
Check out what the youngsters are wearing. This may sound counterintuitive but research and inspiration are essential for looking a feeling the part. Finding pieces that give a nod to youthful styles will knock years off you, Look for trends, silhouettes, styles, colours, unusual details or features you are naturally drawn to, from places like shein, boohoo, pinterest and even tik tok. You will notice youthful clothes are quite skimpy (this is how they can be made so cheaply) but you can still get an idea and form template to use when searching for your own outfit. Make a list describing what you like or if you can, draw a quick sketch.
Step 3 - Kibbe Body Types
If you still have no idea what you'd like to wear then check out the Kibbe Body types.
This takes the traditional pear or apple shapes to the next level by focussing on things like shoulder width in relation to bust, waist and hip size. There are tonnes of free resources on the internet and even consultants if you need them, to help determine which of the eleven kibbe body shapes you are. Then you can find many clothing lists for each body type. They also have official celebrities for each body type to help when deciding which one you are.
I believe I am a Soft Natural which have square shoulders with a natural waist that is neither boxy or hourglass. Jennifer Lopez and Scarlett Johannson and Soft Naturals so looking at what they wear can also help with inspiration.
If you are a Soft Natural like me look for asymmetrical details, Bias cuts, wrap skirts, soft flowing pieces or cowl necklines when looking for outfits. You don't have to follow all of the Kibbe rules, all of the time but it helps to have a direction to go in when choosing.
Step 3 - Shopping
Here comes the fun part! Depending on how you like to shop, start with that. I like to rummage in places like TK Maxx and actually get a lot of inspiration from there too, So take pictures if you see something you like but can't buy because it's not suitable.
Get online and use fashion search engines like shopstyle.co.uk asos vinted or even Amazon or if you are a traditional shopper hit the stores! Use your research to look for your outfit but choose skirt lengths, necklines and fit that are more suited to what you feel is appropriate.
If you get just one piece in your outfit that makes you feel fabulous, you are winning! You will step out on your evening with a confidence that will make you hungry for more!
If you’re lucky enough to already have a killer outfit - then great! It’s time to go shopping to accessorize. Use all the suggestions above to help buy shoes and accessories.
I hope you've found this blog useful. Let me know if you have any tips to share with me. Please follow me on instagram @jen.mystylishsoul and I hope to see you next time.