I made the video below in the very early days of my menopause journey. It was a bit tongue in cheek and I thought I knew all the answers but little did I know the rollercoaster that was ahead of me! Read below how the last nine years have gone and what it's like to be post menopause.
9 years on since I started my Menopause journey and I'm pleased to report that life is returning to some kind of normality. Not symptom free but I seem to be doing ok living with my new normal.
A lot of the times in the early part of those 9 years I spent looking for answers to why things had changed. How could I reverse the change and return to how I was but now I realise that clutching onto that ideology was only prolonging the transition that was going to happen eventually.
I was never prescribed any Hormone therapy from my Doctor but as a Nutritional therapist and Master Herbalist I tried SO many alternatives. Herbal and bioidentical remedies, tablets, creams and protocols. I made it my life's work studying videos and documents, searching for solutions to this menopause illness.
But what I DID learn over that time is that my body is cleverer than me and my entire experience was for a reason. A reason that took me 9 years to learn!
Back in 2015 at the age of 47, I remember my first brush with the big M. My periods had become a lot less normal and they only seemed to last a couple days at best. My regular monthly cycles then went on to miss a month here and there. This was great, I thought if this was all menopause was, then what's all the fuss about! Little did I know that my period would return twice as heavy next time!
I probably went 18 months with sporadic heavy or scant periods before I moved on to not having a period for about 5 months. I'd nearly forgotten what periods were but they would start again at the most inconvenient time - usually when I didn't have any sanitary wear! I remember on a holiday in Egypt. There were no shops to buy anything when my flow started so all I could use was rolled up tissue. I didn't even want to go for dinner because I was so nervous about standing up from the dinner table and flooding my clothes in front of the other holiday makers. As you can imagine the the flight home was truly miserable!
Back then hot flashes were just feeling a bit warmer but nothing to write home about. It was in my 50th year when hot flashes stepped up a gear! My first real hot flash was when I was in a room of colleagues and I was sitting on a chair. We were discussing something and suddenly I felt like someone had set the chair alight. I genuinely looked around wondering if the seat had heating in it and it had accidentally been turned on.
I was mortified as beads of sweat collected on my top lip and chest, ran down into my bra and soaked my top. I couldn't move because all I could think about was the damp stain I would leave on the chair if I got up. I managed to grab a piece of paper and use it as a fan hoping I could get through the meeting without anyone asking me if I was unwell.
This became an all too common experience over the next few years which would fill me with dread every time I could feel one coming on. I took to keeping a towel under my pillow at night - something I was amused with growing up. My Mum did exactly the same and now I'd reached her age, I realised I was another woman who was a slave to menopause symptoms!
What I didn't realise at that time was all those tiny episodes of embarrassment, dread, self consciousness, stress, anxiety that I was experiencing were actually triggering my symptoms! The board meeting when I knew it was my turn to speak - started a hot flash. Watching a sad news report on the TV, being cut up by an inconsiderate road user, pushing myself hard in the gym, drinking alcohol on holiday, being tired, feeling cold, not eating enough, eating too much - all triggering a hormone requirement which caused my symptoms to be worse!
What I didn't realise at the beginning of the menopause is my hormone production had irreversibly changed so all the things I'd done before that point, that allowed my body to tick over happily, had been moved down the priority list by my own body. My glands and organs, that produced hormones, either didn't have the raw materials or the signals to make my body start creating and using hormones were no longer getting to the places they were needed.
Hormone balance is like a moving goal post where the body is constantly trying to understand what is needed versus the resource it has available. So when the hormones are imbalanced, the body doesn't know whether this is the 'new' hormone balance or are resources going to deplete even further.
In addition, in my youth I had a lovely strong unclogged liver that could store and release hormones, when and where they were needed and effectively remove toxins that mimic hormones in our bodies. Now I am older and have an old clogged liver, which is not only low on the hormones it stores but is probably functioning at a lower percentage than 20 years ago, it ends up just doing the best it can with the resources available. We need to be aware of that.
During the lockdown, I suffered horribly with what I felt was the worst symptom of the menopause - hot sweats. When the world was going crazy, my coping strategy was to comfort eat sweets. Lots of them! I'd even go to the wholesaler and get big tubs of my favourite fudge. Not only did I gain a ton of weight but every time my body had to process the extra sugar it had to produce insulin. And every time the hormone insulin was produced it took a little bit of my hormone resource away from keeping my body at the right temperature, allowing me to sleep during the night or keeping my periods regular. These menopause symptoms, although very annoying, were not as important as keeping my blood sugars at a healthy level. Sadly I came out of lockdown two stones overweight and with insulin resistance.
Still in denial out of lockdown, in reality I still wanted to be able to have a small amount of alcohol and it not trigger my period, or a sleepless night with hot sweats. I wanted to be able to do everything I did before the menopause and didn't learn my lesson until very recently. I had to scale back what I did so there was a little bit more was left to run my body.
Slowly I began to accept the signals that my body was trying to give me. It was time to slow down. It was time to accept my body wasn't as capable as it used to be. First I reduced the stresses in my life. These weren't the typical stresses people think about either so don't brush them off if you don't think you have stresses in your life.
For example, I used to 'dry fast' quite a lot in my late 40's. I would not eat or drink for, 44 hours, twice a week. Fasting worked great for me at the time and I maintained my goal weight for a number of years. But during the menopause, they sent me into a tail spin. This was a stress that my body didn't like and it wasn't afraid to let me know! The effort my body was making, trying to unlock the energy stored in my cells during a fast, to keep me alive must have been immense. I started to feel horrible every time I fasted when it wasn't a problem for a couple years. It was a weird feeling that I can't honestly explain. A mixture of anger sadness, delirium all rolled into one. I'm so glad I stopped fasting when I did or I think I'd have imploded! Today I opt for a more gentler way to lose my weight. I may not get to my goal weight straightaway but I'm happier taking the slow and steady route.
Other changes I've made to my lifestyle is to drink more water, eat well and rest appropriately be kinder to my body. They're not the most ground breaking changes but if you were honest with yourself, are you kind to you? Do you push your body to things it was doing when you were 20 now it's older? Could you be kinder?
I've learnt a lot in the last 9 years and would say I feel I am at a manageable stage in my life. At the end of lockdown I cut sugar from my diet and that started losing a little weight for the first time in a long time! I do have the occasional hot flash but I can usually predict when it is about to happen. Usually when I need to empty my bladder or when I drink a lot of alcohol are my most common triggers. It hasn't happened to me but I feel incontinence is closely linked to the menopause. It's almost like my body is saying, I can't deal with the stresses you put on me as well as keep me at the correct temperature or hold in my pee, something has to give!
This may not be the answer to all menopause issues but it's certainly something worth monitoring within yourself to see if you can see any patterns emerging. I genuinely feel I know how to avoid the severe menopause symptoms I used to experience and it boils down to listening and learning from what your body is trying to tell you.
I would love to know your experience with the menopause or if you have any questions drop me a comment or email me from my homepage so we can share each others experiences.
I hope you've find this blog useful. Thanks so much for dropping by.
Until next time
Jen
My Stylish Soul